Required Entry: Weird Situations and Observations. Adapted from an assignment by Joyce Johnson

I’m not weird, you’re weird.

  1. There’s a man on the corner of March and Pacific every so often, who likes to stand about 3 feet away from the waiting cars at the light as he balances a bicycle on his head. It’s like unicycling, but opposite. And I hate it when I get stuck next to him because I fear that one day he will lose balance and drop the bike on my car. He’s weird. But not exactly too weird…
    As a child, my uncle would come over with card tricks to amuse my dad and I and practice his juggling skills. I struggled to learn but was never quite coordinated enough. His main event trick was when he would balance a pool stick on his nose for what seemed like an hour. Even though it’s similar to the guys actions above, this was not weird. That was talent.
  2. I live next door to a cemetery. I love it as you can imagine, my house is peaceful with no complaints or loud parties or fights etc.… they’re dead. So they make the perfect neighbors. Last year, a schizophrenic man “trapped” himself in the cemetery and stripped down naked and then had to call the cops from his cell phone to come unlock the gate that wasn’t actually locked. It was weird. But not exactly too weird…
    When my daughter was almost 2, I took up to the frog jump, and then we drove down to Murphy’s for the annual bike run through town. Hundreds of motorcycles were rolling down the main street as I was standing along the side in the mix of thousands of people. That’s when her diaper literally exploded all over me. I had crap ALL over me. So, I did the most rational thing I could do as a mom, and I ran to the nearest house, broke into the back yard, stripped my daughters bottom half off and stripped my top half off and hosed us both off while doing laundry in some strangers backyard with freezing cold water. Their fence didn’t even go all the way around the yard, so if they had come home, or a neighbor had seen me, they probably would be forever telling the story of a crazy lady with the poor kid. In my eyes- it was a survival tactic.
  3. Growing up, my dad owned a racetrack. When the lines to the bathroom got long on the ladies side, it was pretty normal to invade the mans restroom. Nobody cared. We all just had to pee before the main event started so it didn’t matter where we did it. However, if I would have gone into the men’s restroom at the mall or a restaurant, it was very possible that I would have gotten thrown out, called disgusting, or my parents would have been called due to my incorrigibility. Now, we are all at the point in society when a bathroom is just a bathroom and available for everyone. It’s not weird.
  4. For a few years, there was a popular show on MTV called “Jackass” in which a few guys would get together and come up with ridiculous and shocking acts that were beyond safe and sane behavior. Even though they were funny, they were extremely weird and nuts.
    Until, as a single mom of two boys, those behaviors became the daily norm in my household and even though it was stressful for me at the time, and borderline dangerous enough to be afraid I’d have CPS knocking on my door at some point, those crazy stunts were no longer weird, but just a part of their growing up and making fun memories.Weirdness is only weird when certain acts are done outside of specific environments. When one guy strips naked and runs down Pacific Avenue, it’s weird and arrest worthy. But when the same guys strips naked and runs through a football field at halftime, it’s brave and funny and news worthy.
    It all boils down to the fact that we are all weird, humans are just weird and we all say weird stuff and have weird habits and do weird things.
    Which makes us all perfectly normal.

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